No sleep drives me crazy. Everything affects me. One look and someone despises me, loathes me, is annoyed with me. Everything has a motive, a reason, and it's all pitted against me. Everyone's movements seem too contrived, part of a scheme or a reaction to something I've done. I pace around in hysteria thinking HolyShitI'mANutCase and they all know it! What a pain anxiety is!
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Sometimes, for as long as I remember, I get this inexplicable feeling when I lay down, this push and pull in and outside of me. Something expanding right behind my eyes, being pushed inwards but too large to contain. I wait for a few moments and it subsides...
2 nights ago, Keith and I were laying in bed, and I asked, "DO YOU FEEL THAT?" and Keith asked, "Feel what? Sofie?" and I said, "NO! ON YOUR EYES?" and he said "what the hell are you talking about?" and I said, "You don't feel that push on your eyes. PUT THEM WIDE OPEN! Do you feel it? Are they open?" and Keith said "Yeah. I don't know what you are talking about."
ReplyDeleteAnd I figured I was alone in pushed in eyes at night.
We might be in it together.